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A Validation Situation…

A validation situation.

I read this quote that really stuck with me…”if you talk to more than 2 people about the same problem, you’re not seeking advice, you’re seeking attention.” 

And I was like DAMNNNN. 

I honestly wish I could remember who wrote it or where I saw it, but the point is, it was so powerful it stayed with me. And of course, got me thinking. 

It’s so frequent that we share our problems and woes as a means of venting or letting off steam. But how often are we willing to listen to advice from whoever we are venting to?? 

We tend to unleash the fury of frustration, but are we seeking a solution or just focusing on the problem?? 

When it comes down to it, if we really wanted the solution, we probably wouldn’t need to talk to more than one person. Because the answers we always need are already within us, sometimes gushing it all out helps us gain the clarity we need in the moment. 

So let’s get back to that quote. If we aren’t seeking the solution, we are seeking attention. 

Now that can seem kinda harsh, right?! Like wait, we don’t WANT these problems. 

Sometimes, we are subconsciously seeking attention because what we really seek is VALIDATION. We want to be heard. We want to be recognized for our feelings. We want to see someone else value our worth. We need that validation that our problems MUST be at the helm of someone else, and not ourselves. 

So we share our issues with whoever will listen, still seeking that validation. For the people to listen, to understand “your side”, to agree with you in some way, shape or form. So even if the person or situation doesn’t see it, everyone else will and we feel a mere sense of validation. 

Here’s the prob with that. Those little peeks of understanding are not going to heal the wound. 

The ultimate validation has to come from WITHIN! 

Listen, I know it’s totally annoying, but it’s true! 

If we are constantly looking outside of ourselves for our measure of worth, we will forever be disappointed. 

It’s gotta be an inside job. 

Now you might be wondering how the heck you do that. I hope this helps: 

Break down the problem. Whether it’s an issue with family, marriage, work, kids or life in general, literally lay out the issue. And do this without seeing sides or who is right or wrong. Just lay it out from any angle possible. 

Then take your portion of pain and separate it from anyone else involved, because your pain is yours, and theirs is theirs. And no one’s pain is more valid than someone else’s. 

Look at your pain point. Analyze the shit out of it. Literally imagine that you are taking that pain point and wrapping it in a lil blankie and rocking it like a baby. 

Nurture your own pain. Like it’s your job. Because it is. Literally, it’s no one else’s responsibility to handle your pain. Period.

So once you swaddle up that pain, give yourself grace. It’s really easy to notice the pain and then punish yourself for having feelings. Or diminish it, call yourself names or start the whole damn cycle over again. 

“Grace. Upon grace. Upon grace.” Another quote that stuck with me from one of my fav authors Shauna Niequist. 

You hold your pain. You nurture it. You forgive yourself if you must. You send that pain love and you can realize why YOU have reacted the way you did. And you see how you can change the energy within yourself without even talking to the other parties involved. 

Take a breath and then take a look at the whole problem again. Now, you can’t take the others persons pain and go thru that process for them, that’s a choice they would have to actively make themselves. But maybe, just maybe, you could start to understand that their own baggage and feels and life experience has influenced them in their behaviors. 

The problem starts to fade away and opens up the chance to see more of a solution. And you get to show up knowing that you already have all the validation you need. 

YOUR OWN. 

It lessens the need to fight and paves the path to DISCUSS. To UNDERSTAND. To disagree without this underlying need to be RIGHT, and learn how to just BE! 

Imagine how much less stress you will feel once you stop seeking validation from everyone else and start trusting that your own is all you really need! Life changer FO SHO! 

We all have those validation situations, and I promise I’ll keep working on mine right alongside of you! 

Much love, 

Ta xo 

Exhaustion is not a badge of honor.

Can we please stop wearing EXHAUSTION as some badge of honor? 

Somewhere along the way, we have been conditioned to think that BUSY and TIRED equate to SUCCESS, because if we are wiped out then that must mean we are doing a lot and being productive and blah blah blah. 

You wanna know what SUCCESS really looks like?! 

It’s cranking the shit out of life when you feel energized and resting and recovering when you don’t. 

But life isn’t built to ALLOW us that flexibility. It’s built in these schedules of work, school, business hours, etc. Leaving us at the mercy of a calendar to align our lives to, not the other way around. 

Which leaves us in a desperate place of having no other choice than to PUSH ourselves to produce even when we are depleted.

Which, you guessed it, creates stress, anxiety, depression and this cycle of feeling exhausted just thinking about things we have to do. 

Listen, we are humans and we have human responsibilities. Jobs. Families. Bills to pay. And we have to show up to those facets of life every day. But someone else made the rules for us that we need to follow, and that’s where we hit that wall. 

The resistance. 

The overwhelm.

The exhaustion. 

And we walk around proclaiming it because, well, isn’t everyone just effin tired, and we all celebrate in the fact that we are knowingly and willingly burning ourselves OUT. 

Who. Made. This. Shit. Up. 

I know we can’t change the set schedules for most things, but we sure can change our level of functioning to better suit our own needs and well being! 

No one else is gonna do that for us. 

So let’s start by removing the TIRED BADGE and replace it with a big ass trophy we can put next to us when we lay down on the couch to relax or REPLY NO to something we aren’t feeling. We can look at that golden trophy (yes, I imagine it is gold and shiny) and be proud AF that we are honoring ourselves in the moment. 

And we can also raise it up overhead when we are conquering life, making moves, embracing change and loving on ourselves!!

I will be the one slow clapping to your efforts of self care!❤️

Much love, 

Ta xo 

Why I am breaking up with BALANCE…

Balance. What an overused word these days. I am ready to end my relationship with the word balance. And here’s why… 

I feel like we are constantly working towards maintaining this impossible state of balance in our lives, and always left feeling disappointed and defeated when it doesn’t happen. 

Or even if it miraculously does happen, it’s for like 3 minutes, right?! 

Because the house will get messy again. The bills will need to be paid again. The fridge will need to be stocked again. The workout will need to happen again. The mediation will be necessary again. The water will need to be chugged again. The kids will need a ride somewhere again. The project will have a deadline again. 

These are ongoing life moments, that we are BLESSED to be able to experience…whether or not we decide to be grateful for it is totally our choice. 

But why are we waiting for this pinnacle moment when it’s all “taken care” of? Won’t that mean life is sorta done?! 

And why do we maintain this expectation that we are supposed to have it all taken care of at the -EXACT SAME- time or capacity? 

Guys! Perfect balance in our lives is impossible. There will always be something that requires more of our effort or attention at any given time. And there is nothing WRONG with that! That’s LIFE! So why the F do we get angry or frustrated about it? As we work tirelessly to have it all balanced out. 

Listen, go stand on one foot for 30 seconds. Chances are, it’s a little shaky, might fall over, might not feel so hot. Do we intentionally walk around on one foot all day willingly? Probably not by choice, right?! 

So why is it that we are presently doing one thing (say, family time) while we are thinking about the laundry or the work deadline or the client who needs us? Then we bury ourselves in guilt for feeling like we can’t MANAGE all of it. 

It’s exactly like trying to just stand on one foot. We are choosing to struggle, instead of understanding that there will always be things in life that will require MORE of us at any given time. 

More effort. More heart. More love. More time. More mental strength. More emotion. More creativity. 

And if we are giving something more, then something else will be getting a little less, and there will always be a natural imbalance that we really should just start to EMBRACE!! 

I’m not saying that we can’t have it all and do it all. But do we really HAVE to?! That’s all a choice, too, peeps. I’m simply saying let’s replace the word balance with HARMONY! 

Accept the imbalances. 

If the house is a mess but you’re playing with the kids, find the harmony in the present moment of joy. If work has been slammed but you’re making shit happen, find the harmony in your efforts! If you feel bad for taking time for yourself because the to-do list is a mile long, find harmony in your choice to make yourself a priority in YOUR OWN LIFE! 

Balance is a bad word, not because of its meaning in the dictionary, but for what we allow it to mean for ourselves! 

We define ourselves based on our productivity, our success, the size of our pants and how much we appear to have our shit together. 

And it’s effin exhausting. It’s no way to live. But who says we have to? Social media? Marketing ads? Other people you “see” who seem to be doing it all better than you? 

I call bullshit. 

I want harmony. In fact, here and now I am declaring my desire for HARMONY to the universe and I am open to enjoying harmony in all the areas of my life! 

Mmmmhmmmmm. That feels good just to SAY, doesn’t it?! 

I’m gonna end with this…when you see someone actually balancing themselves, like on a balance beam or a tightrope, it’s totally nerve wracking and only lasts a few seconds or minutes. No more than a few moments of time are they holding themselves steady. And it looks so damn hard and I’m often sweating as I witness it. So why, oh why do make that a GOAL? Whyyyyy do we try to live every moment of our lives BALANCING? 

It’s like instant stress ball syndrome, and who needs another reason to be a sweaty mess? 

I encourage you to release the need and urgency for balance, and invite in more harmony…just for a second, just to see how it feels😉

Much love, Ta xoxo

How we MANIFESTED our new house…

Tomato Taren after the morning run today! Snapped a selfie in front of the new house❤️🙏🏻 And here’s the story of how we landed here…

In October, my mom FaceTimed me and told me their neighbor was selling their house and there were a gazillion people looking at it. She looked at me and said, “sell your house, move in here, we will all get the house and do the in-law like we always talked about.” 

I said, “😳HUH? You want the 5 of us to come live in your basement? You cray?!” 

Somethin told her to call me. Somethin told me to listen. It was a CRAZY idea, with so many reasons why we shouldn’t do it. Like a global pandemic, for one. Was the timing right? Should we wait a few years like we planned? Should we just add on here?

Well…Within a month, we moved out, had the house on the market for 3 days and had an accepted offer for 30K over asking! Sometimes you gotta go the crazy route.

WOWZA, right?! 

It all just lined up. While we busted our asses to get the house ready😂

Remember that manifesting does always take EFFORT, but not FORCE. 

K, keep that in mind! 

So we paid off some debt, started saving more money and come the spring we were READY to BUY. 

And the market was a shit show. We put in an offer, got outbid by 50 THOUSAND dollars. 

I was like WTF did we do?!😬😫 Did we make a mistake? All we can afford now is what we just sold? How are we gonna live in the basement forever?🤪

I had about 2 weeks where I wanted answers, I wanted action, I wanted a damn house and I was stomping my feet about it. Until I realized all that was gonna do is block it from happening. 

So I surrendered. I went over the list in my head of all the GOOD that came from selling and started to think about how incredible it would be to find our house. I had everyone in the fam write a list of what they wanted in the house. I envisioned it. 

A few days later, I woke up at 6am to a text from my bestie real estate agent that she sent to me at 3am. Yeah, she’s that dedicated🤣

It read, “address, bonus room can be the In-law, WAE retreats in the backyard.” 

That was it. So I searched the property. We had seen it on the market, then off the market, then on again. But it was way over our budget. 

I drove by it anyway. And then texted my bestie agent and said I wanted to see it. 

Her reply, “the sellers agent will be there at 3 today with other people who are ready to make an offer. So if you love it, you gotta take action TODAY.” 

Again. WTF! Today?! I can’t even afford this? Nick is at work? OMG. 

My parents both happened to be home (not coincidence, it’s synchronicity peeps) so they came with me. We walked in the back yard and on the patio was a Buddha statue. We walked in the house and we just knew THIS was what we were waiting for. 

We left, called the bestie, crunched the numbers, made an offer. HOLY SHIT. 

15 hours later, the offer was accepted! HOLY SHIT.

What a moment! Then we knew it was going to be a few months until closing as the sellers were building a new space. And let me tell you, little thing after little thing happened, tiny problems or hiccups, and every time it happened, I knew it was the universe asking me how much FAITH I had in this. How much did I trust ALL the guidance that let us here? 

So we kept going, kept believing that all would fall into place. 

And it did! And on closing day at our final walkthrough, the hydrangeas were in full bloom and the house key was on a lighthouse key chain. Those are 2 HUGE spiritual signs for me (see pic with my tattoo I’ve had since last year😉) so to see them in that specific moment was everything! 

We can make all the plans in the world WAE Tribe, but when we loosen the reigns and just TRUST, it brings us to a place even better than we could imagine!! 

It’s hard to let go of the control, but it’s also so FREEING! 10/10 recommend from this recovering control freak😂

If we can manifest a house, what the heck is stopping you from manifesting your dreams?! 

I bet the only thing holding you back are the thoughts you have that you CAN’T DO IT.  

CHANGE THAT.

CHANGE EVERYTHING!!!!

Much love, Ta xoxo

B TEAM Mentality…

A couple months ago, Bubbs {my 10 year old son} tried out for the town competitive soccer team. Soccer is his thing. He loves it. He gages each day based off when he will play a game or practice. He especially loves being a part of a team with his friends.

The team this year was combining 2 age groups, so cuts had to be made. He was nervous, but went out and did his best. He was focused in try-outs. Showed up. Had fun. And left it all on the field.

He was up at 6am anxiously awaiting the team roster to be posted. Not gonna lie, I was just as anxious. I knew he had the skill set and attitude to make it, but in life, we know there are no guarantees.

A couple hours passed and I checked my email. Subject header: U12 Competitive Team.

We were all in the kitchen, so I casually opened it. And it was like a hard punch to the gut. Thank you for participating and I’m sorry to make this hard decision, but you didn’t make the team.

I wanted to puke. Not because he didn’t make it. Because I had to TELL HIM that he didn’t make it. How could I say it? Just come out with it? Ease him in? This was one of those defining life moments, right?!

Like the hard life lesson of sometimes ya win, sometimes ya don’t. But I was determined to share this information with the message of “THIS DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.”

But again, HOW do I make that message clear when he in fact, didn’t make the cut?!

I shared the news. He just held his head in his hands for a minute. Didn’t run away or cry hysterically, didn’t get overly angry. He just felt it.

The pain of not making the cut.

We ALL know what that feels like. We go through the list in our heads of all the reasons we aren’t good enough. But I wanted this to be different for him. I didn’t want him to think he wasn’t skilled enough, or too small. I wanted to reinforce that greatness isn’t something that can defined by someone else.

Greatness is an inside job.

A moment like that, not making a team as a kid, can have a lasting effect. I’m gonna call it the B TEAM MENTALITY.

I was so careful with the words I used with Bubbs because I knew how fragile that moment was for the rest of his life! I knew that because I had a similar moment as a kid and I 100% developed the B Team mentality. I’m finally working my way out of it as a grown adult!

We fail once, or don’t reach a desired goal, and we go into every new situation with this feeling: maybe I’m not good enough. And we do this as a form of SELF PROTECTION. We don’t want to feel that ache of disappointment again. We don’t want to get our hopes up. We don’t want to believe that we can actually do it. Because that’s so much harder than just settling for the failure.

It’s easier to go into something with a “meh” attitude because we feel like we will be ready for the blow, if and when it comes.

But when we do that, we aren’t actually living up to our full potential! We think it’s serving us, when it’s really just HOLDING US BACK!!!

I wanted him to really feel the pain of it, to know that it’s just as powerful as the joy and elation of success!! What a gift as parents to be able to give our kids a better perspective on failures, right?!

Pain hurts.

Joy doesn’t.

But the level of emotion with both is the SAME! All encompassing, consuming, life altering emotion. We can decide how we let it affect us!

We can also decide how much power we give to someone else’s opinion of our greatness. We show up our whole lives to things like sports teams, or colleges, or job interviews, waiting to embrace a new opportunity based on someone else’s judgment to allow us to begin.

We show up with our full selves seeking acceptance in this way. But do we ever stop to truly ACCEPT OURSELVES?!

I really believe that we remove the B Team mentality when we fully accept ourselves in spite of failures or missed opportunities. It’s in this level of self compassion and understanding that we continue to show up for what we want without the fear of disappointment. Instead we embrace the growth and the fun of TRYING!

I’m happy to say that Bubbs is still playing soccer, with some new buddies he hasn’t played with before. It’s giving him a new opportunity to learn, have fun and make even more friends. And he is just as excited for every practice and every game.

There will be plenty of more tryouts for him in his life, and moments of doubt and failure are a guarantee, but my hope for him is that no matter what he’s doing, it’s with an A Team mentality! Because that’s what he deserves. And SO DO YOU!

So if you have been too afraid to try something because you may fail, I encourage you to take a breath, take a chance and take a look at yourself. Accept yourself for ALL that you ARE today. Because you are incredible!

Much love,

Ta xo

NONE of this was on my vision board…or, was it?

A dear friend sent me this meme today and I was cracking up and replied with, “OMG TRUTH!” And then as the day went on, I started thinking about it a little bit more. I then had an actual -WTF moment- because I’ve actually ASKED for some of what’s happening right now. Hang with me here…

Here are a few parts of my actual life vision:

⭐️Quality TIME with my family. I mean, that’s always been a huge driving force in my life, to soak up time with my family. I never expected a pandemic to force it upon us like this, but here we are. No activities to rush out to. No driving all over town in the mom-mobile. No events to attend. No packed schedule. Our days have been filled with pajamas, too much junk food and baking, board games, neighborhood walks and movie marathons. Each day gives us the gift of real TIME together. I mean, that time has always been there, we just thought we had to fill it in with all of this other stuff. For now, we can just BE.

⭐️Family dinners. It’s so rare that the 5 of us sit down and eat dinner together. It’s happened more in the last 2 weeks than in the last 10 years. I’m thankful that we are all healthy to really enjoy this time together. And also, we’ve realized how much we dislike listening to each other chew🤣😳

⭐️WAEbands to sell like hotcakes. I’ve always envisioned them flying out of the workshop and having order upon order, I just never imagined it would be for the safety and protection of our frontline medical workers. We are selling out of bands and donating HUNDREDS to keep nurses heads covered during their shifts. I’ve always loved our WAEband and the purpose it serves for workouts or no time for hair days, or bad hair days…and today I love it even more. I’m so grateful we have a product that serves a huge purpose at this time!

⭐️People embracing a mindset shift. I always manifest that people will learn to harness the power of their thoughts, and empower themselves in the process. I just never anticipated it to be such a massive movement in light of such crisis and chaos. To see people turning towards meditation, to see them working out at home, to see them having dance parties with their kids…it’s so inspiring!

⭐️For the world to LOVE technology for the amazing capacity of keeping us connected. I just never imagined it would be the only way we would be able to connect right now! So many of us are always worried about “screen time,” but today, it’s a beautiful gift to see all of the zoom calls, the FaceTime chats, the classrooms coming together virtually. It’s incredible to see videos of birthday parades, pictures of rainbows and teddy bears in the windows, and to see people closer than ever even when we are socially distant.

⭐️For light workers to be considered essential employees. I always envision people of positivity and passion standing up and helping and serving every day, I just never thought a pandemic would bring it bubbling to the surface. People are just hungry for the light instead of focusing on the dark! More people are turning off the 24/7 news and tuning into their inner selves. Compassion is leading more than comparison. Love is healing more than medicine can right now. Hope is keeping us going.

Moral of the story: I never would have put PANDEMIC on my vision board. I would never wish this upon anybody, but even in this crisis, there are so many blessings. There are so many beautiful moments being born from this quarantine. There are visions coming to reality, even if it’s not the way we expected.

The truth is, that’s how most things are delivered from the universe. Not in a perfect little package wrapped in a bow, but in a way we never expected. In a way that will allow us to grow more than we ever could on our own.

Life as we know it will forever be changed, and as we change and evolve, it can be better. It should be better. It will be better. If we choose to be.

Think about what you’re asking for today, what you’re envisioning and see if some of it is occurring even during this challenging time. You just may be amazed at what’s transpiring right in front of you❤️🙏🏻

Much love,

Ta xo

5 Lessons Every Empath Needs to Learn…

“Empaths are people who understand and share the feelings of others.” Like, that’s the real definition. Let’s face it, pretty much every human on the planet SHOULD be understanding of others, but that’s a story for another blog.

The challenge of being an empath really comes from those who have a hard time differentiating someone else’s feelings from their own. So we take on people’s feelings because we assume it will lighten their load by piling it on ourselves! So silly, aren’t we?!

Or get this…maybe you’re an empath but you don’t even realize it; but you know your energy can get wacky when other peoples does?!

Well, I was chatting with a dear friend who is a fellow empath, and as she asked for advice, I was sharing some insight I have learned on this journey and I realized, DUH…I should share this with everyone because maybe you need this feedback, too!! So here goes…

Lesson #1. You can’t HEAL someone else, so why would you try to FEEL for someone else? We don’t have a magic wand to shoot fairy dust at anyone to fix their problems. Just like we shouldn’t give advice to someone who really isn’t asking for it. But for some reason, us empaths feel RESPONSIBLE to fix any problems even when they have nothing to do with us! We gotta make it personal because it means we care, right?! Wrong-o! Getting all wrapped up in someone else’s pain is never our purpose. Our purpose is to love! To give love, speak love and live in love!

Lesson #2. Your best healing will always come from within. So will everyone else’s. Though you may want to shake peeps to wake them up, it ain’t never gonna work. People wake up on their own clock. Not yours. So if you want to help them wake up, be there to listen when their alarm goes off and let them figure out the rest! Just like YOU did!

Lesson #3. Stop trying to protect your energy and shield yourself. You’ve worked too hard releasing your own baggage to build up yet another armor. Surround yourself with LIGHT and LOVE, that’s the best source of protection available to you!

Lesson #4. Feel for them without feeling FOR them! You know that saying, “I feel for you!” That means you are allowing yourself to shed love and compassion upon someone else. It doesn’t mean you should actually take on their pain. It’s never your job to carry someone else’s pains or burdens. The best way to help others is to work on your own light and hope it helps them do the same.

Lesson #5. Stop feeling guilty for someone else’s difficult life. Again, you can always feel compassion and love towards those who are struggling. But someone else’s pain isn’t yours to walk in. If you were supposed to experience it for yourself, then you would. The second you start to feel guilty for good health or abundance or joy because someone else doesn’t have it, is the same second that you are disconnecting from your divine right of happiness. If someone else isn’t choosing happiness, it’s not your fault. But if you aren’t choosing it, that’s on you, boo.

Hope these little shifts can help you stand deeper in your light instead of jumping into someone else’s darkness! So much love for you! Keep shining!

~Ta xoxo

Why I Still Believe…

So, I’m 37 and I still believe in Santa. I still look up at the sky every Christmas Eve. I still feel butterflies in my stomach going to bed knowing what Christmas morning will bring. 

Maybe I feel this way because I was very blessed as a kid and we always had magical Christmases. I know that’s not the case for every person. But…Believing in Santa in my eyes it’s just a MUST. Let me explain…

I am a crazy Christmas person. I decorate well before Thanksgiving. I love all the movies, bake the cookies, see the lights. Christmas songs are on 24/7. As a family, we have done a really good job of streamlining Christmas the last few years. We focused less on the crazy amounts of gifts, and more on time together. Experiences that we can share together. Moments that can be savored and memories to be made. We’ve learned to lessen the stress, the financial burden, the chaos and focus more on the real meaning of the season which is JOY and FAMILY. And SANTA, of course. 

To me Santa is more than a chubby, jolly guy in a red suit. To me, he is a symbol of MIRACLES! 

Every present that gets opened Christmas morning is from Santa Claus. All the credit goes to him. We don’t need it. One day, it will be acknowledged. But the precious years of Santa are so fleeting, so why not let Santa have it ALL! The magic, the excitement. Yes, we also have those crazy elves who live in our house for a whole month before Christmas, too. And I absolutely love seeing how excited the kids get waking up every morning to go find them. Even at 1am when you wake up in a sweat wondering if they moved! 

Believing in the magic of Christmas is more than just believing. I feel like it’s a life lesson that we can instill in children at such a young age of how important it is to believe in something BIGGER than ourselves. There are going to be times in life that are so challenging that we’re not sure if a miracle can actually happen…but then we can remember what it felt like as little kids…picturing Santa flying all over the world in one sleigh with one sack of presents squeezing down chimneys, bringing joy to the whole world…and we can believe that ANYTHING is possible. Santa isn’t just a dude with the big white beard and a red hat. Santa is a FEELING that every single person deserves to feel… a feeling of hope, possibility, and magic. 

Now, I know someone reading this has had a Christmas where Santa didn’t deliver. He didn’t bring that coveted toy. He disappointed you in someway. And honestly, I feel like that’s a really big life lesson to learn, too. It’s not just about him bringing every single thing and making it perfect. It’s not about deceiving kids and being dishonest. It’s about believing in something so much bigger than ourselves, and being grateful for whatever the outcome may be! 

To me, Santa will always be real, because I believe that miracles are real. I believe that miracles happen every single day right under our nose. I’ve been witness to them. Our world has gotten very cynical, everyone always wants to keep it real… I get it…I like to do that, too. But allowing our imaginations to run wild and investing our heart into the sheer idea of magic really does just FEEL GOOD. We’re always trying to consume so much information and make sense of everything all the time… It’s not like that with Santa. You don’t have to make sense of it. He doesn’t need an explanation. It’s MAGIC, it’s JOY, and it’s HOPE. Allow yourself to believe in what’s possible… Not just on Christmas, but every day. Magic moments can be had any time of the year. If you just believe❤️✨

So much love friends,

Ta xoxo

To the Mom dragging your screaming kid out of Target…

Felt this deep in my heart and had to share…

To the mom dragging your screaming kid out of Target, I will never judge you and you are loved. Sometimes it’s like wrestling an alligator taking your kids to run errands. Let’s be real, I sometimes wanna scream and cry when I can’t get everything I want at Target. Maybe moms should start throwing fits, too?!🤣

To the mom who wears earbuds at the supermarket just so no one will talk to her or ducks a corner when she sees an old friend from high school, I will never judge you and you are loved. I understand that sometimes you just need to be alone and not engage in small talk that can feel so difficult. That places like the grocery store can drum up so much anxiety for having to have conversations that feel energetically draining. It’s ok to not want to talk.

To the mom who forgets it’s picture day or forgets a birthday party or forgets the “party in a bag”, I will never judge you and you are loved. We aren’t always gonna get it right. We are allowed to forget things and make mistakes. And if anything, it will teach our kids how to forgive and be compassionate when other people mess up. It will teach them that even when we have it all together, things get thrown out of whack. We move on and hope to do better next time!

To the mom who is always rushing around like a maniac and 5 minutes late for life, I will never judge you and you are loved. We always seem to run on everyone’s else’s clock. Getting people from point A to point B, and sometimes we don’t give ourselves enough time to make it happen. Maybe we get distracted scrolling social media, maybe we oversleep, maybe we took a shower for 5 extra minutes because it just felt like the only time of the day that was calm and quiet. Maybe we just need to start saying TIME is our friend instead of saying we don’t have enough of it! Either way, I know you’re doing your best!

To the mom who goes all out on every holiday, birthday or random Tuesday for your children, I will never judge you and you are loved. The fact that you take joy from making monumental moments of magic with your children is a beautiful thing. Don’t you dare dull down your sparkle because someone else doesn’t understand it! If you love making Pinterest worthy crafts or parties or anything, you do it and do it with JOY! And post the crap out of it because if other moms roll their eyes at you, then it’s just because they feel “less than” that they don’t like doing those things.

So, to the moms that compare themselves to other moms, I will never judge you and you are loved. You aren’t supposed to be like every other mom out there. We aren’t all meant to parent the same ways, or love the same ways. We each will bring our own balance of unique gifts and ridiculous baggage to our children. We should stop comparing or judging and start applauding each other for every small win! We should always be in each other’s corners, cheering each other on, even if we don’t agree with certain things! We are kindred spirits, not meant to be compared, meant to be united in this sisterhood of mom life. It’s unlike any other thing in this crazy world! We need each other!

To the moms who are always tired, I will never judge you and you are loved. You can be tired from working all day, or just tired from thinking about all you have to actually accomplish in a day. It doesn’t matter, it’s ok if you’re tired. So make sure you carve out time for yourself because it’s not selfish. It’s 100% necessary! And the more you fill yourself up, the better you are to everyone else in your life! It’s a WIN WIN!

To the mom who takes vacations or goes on date nights all the time without your children, I will never judge you and you are loved! You GO, mama. You take that time to restore and adventure and seek solace in your own identity. Being away from your kids doesn’t mean you don’t love them. It means you know that you need time to just be YOU, and you shouldn’t be judged for that. And I can vouch for this, taking time with your partner away from the kids is SO hugely important! Even if it’s just one hour at the grocery store or a quick drink and a slice of pizza. When you’re parenting together, you need that time to connect so you can be a strong team when the kids try to come in and overthrow you 😂

And on the flip side, to the moms who never ever leave their kids because it just feels too hard, I will never judge you and you are loved. It can feel like your heart is separating from your body when your kids aren’t there, so it’s ok to want to be attached to them for a while. Let’s face it, childhood is a short amount of years, so if you want to be there for every single day, then you do that. Again, you aren’t meant to parent like anyone else. No book can tell you what your heart already feels. Follow it and do you.

To the mom who swears in front of her kids, I will never judge you and you are loved. I can talk like a truck driver, but choose not to in front of my kids. But that doesn’t make me “right” and someone else “wrong.” It doesn’t mean anything to be honest. And if my kids hear another mom swearing, they don’t even think much of it. They know that some peeps talk like that and some don’t. And it’s ok! They don’t repeat the words. At least not in front of us 😂🙄

To the mom who’s just had enough, I will never judge you and you are loved. In motherhood, there can and will always be 1003 things we can complain about. No one listens, no one helps out, no one cares about what I need, there’s never enough time… we’ve all had our moments in those messes. Know this, with every moment we can complain, there are 10 moments to be joyful about. The hugs, the love, the trust, the connection…those things will always outweigh the annoyances of motherhood. So forgive the thoughts and focus on the love. It will always win.

To the moms who are clicky, I will never judge you and you are loved. I understand how hard it can be to let people you don’t really know into your life. I know your past experiences may leave you with your guard up. I know it can seem hard to make new friends as an adult so it’s easier just to keep your circle small. Just know you are safe when you lead with your heart. So remember that. And know that there may be a mom out there who needs your light to brighten her own.

Speaking of, to the moms who are shy or feel left out, I will never judge you and you are loved. It’s not easy feeling like you don’t fit in with anyone. It’s hard feeling like the odd man out. It’s scary when you think about why other people have these amazing friend groups and you just feel alone. It just means you aren’t supposed to latch on to anyone else for self worth. And maybe it’s your chance to step up and create new relationships. Your people are out there, open yourself up and they will come running into your life!

To the mom with all the problems, I will never judge you and you are loved. I know that there are some moms who feel like they have it harder than others. You feel that way for a reason. Just know this, problems are problems no matter how big or how small, and no one’s hardships are more important that anyone else’s. Maybe some compassion for other people’s struggles will help lessen your own❤️🙏🏻

To all the moms reading this, I will never judge you and you are loved. We are in this together. I have been some version of all of these “moms” throughout the years, as I’m sure you have, too. We don’t need to be exactly the same to be connected. We just need to let go of the walls of judgement and comparison and bring the best out of one another. Think about how amazing it would be if we allowed ourselves to just be understanding of our differences and celebrate this gift of raining tiny humans!!

Much love,
Ta xox

Would You Go Back to High School?

Ok so this blog is gonna relate to all the adults reading, but I’m actually writing it for the teenagers, too…so please, share it with them! Even read it with them.. If they can stand the way you’re talking or breathing for 5 straight minutes. LOL! But really…it’s true.

I have been thinking a LOT lately about what it really felt like at that stage of life. How confusing, challenging and frustrating it could feel. When really, that time should be filled with FREEDOM, self expression and self awareness! Balanced with good choices, of course. I mean, I live with a teenager right now and feel grateful on the daily that she isn’t a wild child. Though sometimes I wonder if that’s because she just wants to “do what’s right” or if that’s who she just is. That’s a question I may never get answered, but this one can… If you could, would you go back to high school again?

Listen, I know time travel isn’t a thing, but have you ever been asked that question? Or even thought about it? My first reaction would be HELL YES because I would do things 100% DIFFERENT and it would be interesting to see how it all panned out. But the grounded and mindful being inside of me knows that my school age experiences are what shaped me to be the person that I am today. I don’t ever look back at my life with regret because every choice led me to exactly where I am, and I’m completely grateful. But I also struggled internally with a great deal of things, which is why I wanted to write this for the teens. The kids who aren’t yet adults, but expected to make decisions like adults do. The people who are trying to figure out WHO they are and WHY they’re here, but are thrust with opinions from parents, teachers, friends and society about who they’re supposed to be.

Teens have it harder than most other age groups. Even us grown ups who pay bills and raise humans. Because we have FREE WILL. They only do to an extent. They can only make choices that fit a mold of who’s raising them. If they go against that grain, they are defiant or disrespectful. Again, I live with a teenager and it sometimes feels like a crapshoot letting her make choices while still giving her a foundation of LIFE to grow and build upon. We don’t always see eye to eye or agree on things. And that’s not a bad thing. But we see it as bad because it makes us feel terrible inside when our kids don’t understand WHY we want certain things for them. So lets take a second and remember what it feels like to be the teenager, just fighting for every ounce of understanding. WOOF. This shit ain’t easy. But we will keep showing up and doing the best we can. Praying that we aren’t doing damage on these kids that they will have to uncover and dig through as adults.

But…Let’s be real. They totally will. Just like we had to. I had amazing parents and I still had to work through some serious shit as an adult to combat my needs to be perfect, fix everything and put everything else before myself. So here’s what I truly hope you parents reading and you teens reading can gain from this…CLARITY! Parents, we think we know better because we have experienced more life, which is a big part of the reason why it wouldn’t be as awful to go BACK now, knowing what we know. Understanding life in a deeper way. Teens, you think you know better because it’s YOUR life and you aren’t exactly like your parents, so how could they know better. Big part of the reason why it would SUCK to go back, because someone would be telling us how to LIVE. Agreed there? Get what I’m saying?

Ok.. so then I hope you achieve more RESPECT, respect for each others feelings and words and ACCEPTANCE for why we all feel the way we feel! Here’s how we can do that:

Step 1: STOP QUESTIONING. START LISTENING. Whoa. Stop asking my kid questions? Or stop asking my parents WHYYYYY I cant do this or that, or buy this or that? Hang with me here. Your kid gets home from school. “How was your day? Do you have homework? How was the test? You ready for dance? Did you finish your homework? Did you eat anything healthy? What are you doing on your phone? Did you take out the dog?” SO. MANY. QUESTIONS. Where in the rapid fire questioning are we learning about WHO our kids really are? Are we actually listening, or just waiting to hear the response we are looking for? And when we don’t get the response we are looking for, we get pissed and ask them MORE questions. “WHY do you always do this? Who do you think you’re talking to? What do you mean you don’t know? Why are you always in such a bad mood? What’s your attitude for?” OMGGGG I am literally having a come to Jesus moment realizing how much I am guilty of this, too, my peeps.

Let’s shift to the teens now. Mom walks in from a helluva day. “What’s for dinner? Is my uniform clean? Can you take me to the store, I need stuff for a project due tomorrow? Can you drive us to the mall later? Can I hang out with friends after school? Can I order something on amazon?” All before mom has been able to kick her shoes off and take stock on what explosion to tackle first. Mom replies with impatience and frustration for not being able to do 103 things at once and you then feel like she hates you and is the worst mom ever. Can we agree that theres a better way, here?

Before you ask more questions, ASK YOURSELF if you have actually LISTENED! Deal? Use this as an experiment to see if communication flows a little easier this way!

Step 2: STOP PUSHING. START VISUALIZING. This one is something that popped into my head as I was chatting with my daughter about college and work in the real world. She wants to pursue the medical field and I’m so proud and impressed by that. But I wanted to dig into WHY she wanted to do this, because when I was her age, NO ONE ever asked me WHY I was choosing the path of college. It was sort of a non-negotiable like I HAD TO do it and just figure it out as I went. Which is fine for a lot of paths in our lives, but when you leave college with a mortgage of student loans and still no clarity on what you actually wanna do, is that really worth it? So I asked her WHY. She replied that she wanted to help others. Love it. Then I asked her if she realized that being in the medical field meant working holidays, night shifts, extra long shifts and not having the traditional schedule. She understood and was willing to continue on with this.

We so quickly PUSH our kids to go to school, figure out what job and career path to take without actually having them VISUALIZE what they want their lives to look like. Do they want to work day shifts, in the city, in an office, be a business owner, get a degree, deal with massive debt, maybe even think about having their own families some day. I know it seems so far off, but having them actually picture what they want their LIFE TO FEEL LIKE instead of what JOB they want to do makes a huge difference. And to sweeten the deal, parents should share their vision with their kids, too! It’s so important to share your desires and what a picture perfect day feels like, so we can all help each other achieve it! Maybe you’re a parent and still don’t know what you want to be when you grow up. I know I finally figured it out in my 30’s. But what better time to create that vision than to do it TOGETHER!

Step 3: CHANGE THE EXPECTATION. As parents, we absolutely hold our children to a certain standard. How to behave, how to treat others, how to treat ourselves. As kids and teens, you have expectations of how you should be treated as well. What if we just had ONE expectation?

UNDERSTANDING! Because the truth is, as parents, we do know a great deal more than our kids simply because we have lived and experienced more. But that doesn’t always mean we are right. And teens, I know it seems like your parents may have NO clue about what its like to BE YOU, but remember that they had their own share of baggage to work through at your age. Maybe its not exactly the same, but I’m sure its similar and they have the knowledge to help you navigate it!

Parents want their kids to be free and expressive and able to find themselves, but we also have this obligation to make sure we are guiding them in the right direction. Like life’s biggest goal is just to raise GOOD HUMANS, right? Teens. I know  you can feel stifled, monitored, misunderstood…but know that all of that comes from the ultimate place of LOVE! If we all just stop the crazy expectations and focus on understanding, we may have a whole lot less to argue about! We may be able to find a little more joy in this wacky phase of life. We may actually get to know each other better and bring out the best in one another!

I say to my oldest all the time…”I have NO IDEA what I’m doing. I’m learning with you. This is the first time I’ve parented a kid your age and I’m learning as I go, too.” She usually smirks or rolls her eyes, but I know she understands that I’m doing the best I can, And I can totally understand that she is too!

Let’s shift the conversation. Let’s listen. Let’s create vision together and let’s understand each other a little bit more.

And if you guys need more guidance, we have mindfulness and meditation classes just for the teens. And while you’re at it, sign yourself up for Shift Release Connect, our weekly meditation and stretch class! You guys all deserve time spent on your MIND and your HEART!

Ok I know I said no more questions, but I just have 1 more… Would you go back to being a teenager if you knew what you know now? Share with me peeps, would love to hear your feedback on this one!

Much LOVE,

Ta xoxo

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